What I should say to the man who is still my husband but abandoned me for another woman

I would say to him THANKS SO MUCH FOR LEAVING INSTEAD OF MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE. I believe that would have been my destiny had he tried to stay and make me into whatever he needed me to be. Don’t get me wrong. I am quite miserable in the life I am living but this is nothing in comparison to what it would have been had he stayed with me.
I find myself wondering how I can still know that I love him as I still do. It is a difficult quandury that I am in. Everyone who know this situation thinks that I should feel differently about him but I believe if you truly do love someone it can never truly go away. No matter the hurt. And I am hurt. It continues on and on. It damages my daughters and I’m sure it hurt my son though not in obvious ways.
What I would say to him if I would talk to him about it. I’d say why did you take my lifeline away from me. Whyu did you throw away a life we could have had with so little effort and care and then you expect me to have anuything to do with you. Of course I have to have to do with you because I have to be mature in front of my children. So that they know there is life after devastation.
What I would say is how could you have left me after all I tried to do with us. OK I didn’t do such a good job of it. I wasn’t faithful but it was hard all those years he was in jail. He made bad decisions and went to jail but I tried to stick it out. I can’t believe after all I put up with from him that that was enough for him to quite on us. I really believe he just used it as an excuse. Or maybe it was the lie that ended us. Probably some of both and we will never know because asking these questions might give me some satifaction or ‘closure’ it would not do us any good. It can’t be fixed. And besides – caring about him and wanting things to be well with him is all that I can do. He is with the same woman he left me for and she definitely cares for him. He has had several stokes and his health is not very good. I respect her becuase she is sticking with him. Maybe had I fought for him when he left me and been a lot less of ‘me’ maybe we would be together.
No body knows the answer but life goes on and so must we all. Even when it feels so bad you an hardly breath.